


Coffee and Chat Logs

by Wildcard1412



Category: Persona 5, Super Smash Brothers
Genre: chat fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 07:50:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20597273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wildcard1412/pseuds/Wildcard1412
Summary: Just another chatfic in the smash tag. Dunno what else to tell ya.





	Coffee and Chat Logs

**Spacesuit, Wild child, King of swords, 7 years trauma, Announcer**

**MAIN CHAT**

**Spacesuit:** No.

**Wild Child:** it’s not that bad of an idea

**Spacesuit:** you’re asking to bring in everyone into the same place at the same time.  
**Spacesuit:** we have enough fights in the stages already, we don’t need to make them verbal as well.

**Wild Child:** we can set up guidelines for the cat so no one has any problems!  
**Wild child:** *chat

**King of swords:** you really think people like Wario or Ganondorf will take those guidelines seriously?

**Wild Child:** I don’t know!? I’m not the same link you and most of the other smashers have had in the past.  
**Wild Child:** the main reason we have this group in the first place was so some of you guys could help me get used to smash, and I really do thank you for that, but I’m not the only one in the dark about smash.

**7 years of trauma:** he has a point. We already have a few people in this chat already, and most of them don’t even go onto the chat app anyway. If it’ll help, we can bring people in one at a time.

**Spacesuit: …**  
** Spacesuit:** if either Ridley or edgy me pop in, I’m poppin out.

**7 years of trauma:** fair enough. I’m doing the same with ganon.

**Announcer:** I thought you guys were getting along better?

**Wild Child:** asdfghjkjhg  
**Wild Child:** were you here the whole time?!??

**Announcer:** did you...not look at the list?

**Wild Child:** that’s a thing?!

**7 years trauma:** oh boy  
**7 years trauma:** thats gonna be full as hell when everyone gets here…

**Announcer:** I’ll start bringing people in. if I leave anyone out, lemme know.

**7 years trauma:** I’ll take care of any sword users, we have our own group chat

**Wild child:** can confirm, it’s a mess in there.

**7 years trauma:** Wild, why the hell do you think this is a good idea?

**Wild child:** I never said it was a good idea. I just said ‘it’s not that bad of an idea’.

**Spacesuit:** I’m regretting all of this already.

**King of swords:** we’re not that bad, links.

**7 years trauma:** we are, and you fucking know it

**Wild child:** watch your fucking language, this is a hylistian chat

**7 years trauma:** noT ANYMORE IT AIN’T

_7 years trauma has left the chat_

**Wild Child:** he says that, and yet he leaves the said chat.  
**Wild Child:** guess I have the follow suit.

_Wild child has left the chat_

**Spacesuit:** I’m yeeting the hell out of here before anyone shows up.  
**Spacesuit:** good luck, gays

**King of swords:** don’t you mean guys?

**Announcer:** did she fucking stutter?

**Spacesuit:** no, no I didn’t.  
**Spacesuit:** you can’t stutter in chat.

_Spacesuit has left the chat._

**King of swords:** alright, fair enough.

**Announcer:** since the links are getting the swords, I’ll get the other weapons.

_**Announcer**_ _has __added_ _**Mario, Donkey Kong, Dark samus, Yoshi, Kirby, Fox, Pikachu, Luigi, Ness, Captain falcon, Jigglypuff, Peach, Daisy, Bowser, Ice nana, Ice popo, Sheik, Zelda, Dr. mario, Pichu, Falco, Ganondorf, Mewtwo, Mr. game and watch, Wario, Snake, Red, Diddy kong, Lucas, Sonic, King dedede, Olimar, Lucario, R.O.B, Wolf, Villager, mega man, Wii fit, Rosalina, Little mac, Greninja, Palutena, Pac man, Bowser jr., Duck hunt, Ryu, Ken, Bayonetta, Inkling, Ridley, Simon, Richer, King k. Rool, Isabelle, Incineroar, Piranha plant, Banjo & Kazooie, Terry, Hero**_

**Peach:** thats...a lot of people

**Announcer**: yea, ye it is  
**Announcer:** more is coming soon, if what MH said about more DLC being true

**Lucario:** is this what I think it is?

**King of swords:** everyone is here™ chat? Yeah, pretty much. The links are getting the others

**Red:** is that ‘Everyone™’ going to involve the cryptid?

**Snake:** not this again

_Bayonetta has renamed snake to ‘clap of my-’_

**Incineroar:** nice

**Megaman:** which one? I’m sure several of those on the roaster could be called cryptids.

_Bayonetta has changed their name to Sexy Hairclip_

**Sexy Hairclip**: probably our local coffee maker. Pit asked me about them once, you could probably get more from him.

**Pit:** we don’t know where the coffee comes from?! Like, I come out of my room, go into the lounge, and then it’s just there!! Freshly made coffee, and no one has seen where it comes from!!!

**Rosalina:** It could just be magic, or even from the master hand.

**Pit:** I asked! I went through a whole classic match just to ask!

**Lucario:** Announcer, you know about everyone in the roaster, I don’t suppose you can share any insight? I myself have struggled with finding this so called Crypids aura. It’s as if they are nothing more than an illusion  
**Lucario:** However, that does not mean there is nothing there. I simply mean that there is one in the mansion with the capabilities to hide their aura, which is quite alarming.

**Pit:** Oh, and, besides me and Red, there’s also Luigi, Daisy, Roy, Zelda, Lucina, Lucario Inkling, Fox and Falco looking for this guy.

_Fox has changed their name to Barrel roll_

_Falco has changed their name to youhaveothermovesfox_

_Barrel roll has changed their name to dothefansknowthat?_  
_ dothefansknowthat? has changed their name to barrel roll_

**Daisy:** guys, please don’t argue with your names…

_Peach has changed Daisy’s name to S-punk_

**S-punk:** You know me so well, and I love you for it.

**Palutena:** can you recommend me some music?

**S-punk:** outside of the music room? Well… I dunno, try mother mother?

**Ness:** speaking of music...

_Ness has changed their name to Megalovania_

**Megalovania:** one of us is gonna half to change.

**Announcer:** Sans isn’t technically IN smash. You do know this, right?

**Sonic:** have you not seen the theory?

**Megalovania:** How do I block people from the chat?

**Sonic:** uh oh

_Sonic has changed their name to GottaBlast_

**Lucas:** Not ‘gotta go fast’?

**GottaBlast:** Nah, that joke’s been done to death.

_**7 years trauma** has added** Marth, Lucina, Roy, Ike, Chrome, Toon Link, Meta knight, Robin, Shulk, Cloud, Corrin, and Joker to the chat**_

_Wild Child has joined the chat_

**7 years trauma**: I’m back, and with guests!  
**7 years trauma:** company!  
**7 years trauma:** the people with swords, basically.

**Cloud:** I just got caught up, glad to know I’m not the only one who wonders about the coffe. Although I usually get tea, I thought it was odd how everyone else always seemed to get coffee.

_Joker changed Cloud’s name to drink your **** tea_

**drink your **** tea:** ...I think I understand why now. Thanks, Cid.

**Joker:** that's what you get for being the only final fantasy character on the roaster

**Lucas:** wait, doesn't Joker use a knife? Why was he with the sword group?

**Wild child:** He’s a special case. We couldn’t argue with him saying that a knife is just a really short sword

**Lucina:** a knife is NOT a sword! The real reason should be because we didn’t know how to kick him out!

**Joker:** you don’t like my company~?

**Lucina:** meet me in the ring, coward.

Lucina has left the chat

**Announcer:** Suppose I’ll get ready to watch over the whole thing…  
**Announcer:** Also, you’re all allowed to change your names. It’ll get boring if we all just go by our normal names.

_Joker has changed their name to 1412_

**Villager:** like the anime?

**1412:**  
** 1412:** smoke bomb

_1412 has left the chat_

**Pit:** hey, Announcer, bfyg, how do you make a chat? I wanna get a place where we coffee Cryptid hunters can make our findings

_Palutana has renamed Pit to Detective Icarus_

**Detective Icarus:** Lady Palutana?

**Palutena:** IF you want to do an investigation, you’re going to need the right title for it.

**Announcer:** you’re not gonna help give chase?

**Palutena:** Why would I? I’m an all knowing goddess. I already know who they are  
**Palutena:** speaking of which, don’t you have a match to overlook?

**Announcer:** Ah.

_Announcer has left the chat_

**Detective Icarus:** Wait!  
**Detective Icarus:** ...I never got to ask him how to make a group chat…

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sega Family Chat**

_1412 has entered the chat_  
_Sexy Hairclip has entered the chat_

**1412:** I didn’t think making coffee would get me a local cryptid status

**Sexy Hairclip:** must come with being a phantom thief. How did the match go?

**1412:** Lucina kicked my ass. I think I’m gonna have to prepare audio recordings in the booth later, I can barely speak after she caught me in a chokehold

**Sexy Hariclip:** I thought you said you weren’t trying to become a cryptid?

**1412:** Oh, no, that rule applies just for the coffee thing. My status as the announcer on the other hand, that’s a different story

_GottaBlast has entered the chat_

**GottaBlast**: YOU’RE THE ****ING ANNOUNCER?!

**1412:**  
** 1412:** damnit.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I don't have a discord, I don't have people to chat with, I've never wrote a fic before in my life. Will I continue this? probably not. However, I did write down what everyones names would be if I bothered to add everyone and contiue this. This was also inspired by several posts from Ren-Amamiyaa before their tumblr got deleated again.
> 
> Mario- Its-a-me  
Donkey Kong- Banana  
Link- wild child  
Samus- spacesuit  
Dark samus- فضاء  
Yoshi- Happy  
Kirby- <(‘ - ’)>  
Fox- Barrel Roll  
Pikachu- Pi-achoo  
Luigi- GHOSTS  
Ness- Megalovina  
Captain falcon- Batman  
Jigglypuff- gothefucktosleep  
Peach- Peachpie  
Daisy- S-punk  
Bowser- Crown  
Ice climbers nana- Sice  
Ice climbers popo- Brobro  
Sheik- notzelda  
Zelda- British accent  
Dr. mario- Healer  
Pichu- Mouse  
Falco- youhaveothermovesfox  
Marth- king of swords  
Lucina- Xena  
Young link- 7 years of trauma  
Ganondorf- disaster trashman  
Mewtwo- Mewtwo  
Roy- Roy’s our boi  
Chrome- Google  
Mr. game and watch- Elder  
Meta knight- spanish guitar  
Pit- Detective Icarus  
Dark pit- XxxAngel_of_DarknessxxX  
Zero suit samus-will tase as a warning  
Wario-gassy  
Snake- clap of my-  
Ike- fought for friends  
Red- whole in 1  
Diddy kong- Caps lock  
Lucas- sunflower  
Sonic- GottaBlast  
King dedede- smashitwithahamer  
Olimar- steve  
Lucario- Aura-cle  
R.O.B- consumer model  
Toon link- gremlin  
Wolf- genocide route  
Villager- Mayor  
mega man- I have no soul  
Wii fit- stretches  
Rosalina- starlight  
Little mac- FMA  
Greninja- checkyourwallet  
Palutena- None of you are free of sin  
Pac man- wakawaka  
Robin- memeory loss  
Shulk- feelin’it  
Bowser jr.- baby boy  
Duck hunt- unseen hunter  
Ryu- sure  
Ken- you can  
Cloud- drink your **** tea  
Corrin- an actual dragon  
Bayonetta- Hairclip mom  
Inkling- squidward  
Ridley- faster than a hedgehog  
Simon- bat killer  
Richer- bat killer 2.0  
King k. Rool- fire everything  
Isabelle- good girl  
Incineroar- suplex  
Piranha plant- chompers  
Joker- 1412/Announcer (has two phones)  
Banjo & Kazooie- two halves of a whole idiot  
Piranha plant-CHOMP  
Terry- back in my day  
Hero- zoom outta here


End file.
